The game of waiting
by varsha.castle
Summary: Sometimes destiny changes you and sometimes you change destiny.. Richard Castle and Kate Beckett are two such people whose destiny is unknown. They're not together, but at the same time they are.. Reviews are loved..
1. Chapter 1

**This is what happens when I think about Castle and Beckett's future a lot. Let me tell you, this is not a Castle and Beckett pairing story. Read on to know more..**

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><p>It's been 10 years since she left New York City. She left her job after solving her mother's case. She was just Kate Beckett Williams now. Not Detective Kate Beckett who solved crimes. She never talked about her past to anyone. She's living in Canada for past 10 years.<p>

She married Robert Williams. A lawyer. He was intrigued by her attitude. They have been married for 8 years and have a son named Alexander Javier Williams. Rob never understood her choice of name, but he never questioned her.

They moved all around the world. Rob had clients everywhere. Paris, London, Europe, Japan, Asia and many more places. She never expected them to move to the city where she lived once. New York.

She was scared where she would come face to face with people from her past. From whom she's been running for past 10 years. Her biggest fear was whether her heart would skip a beat if she saw him even today?

Alex kept asking her to take her to Central Park. And she took him, hoping no one she knows is there.

She let him play with other children and sat on one of the benches thinking how New York has not changed at all.

She noticed a little girl almost falling down from the swings. She ran as fast as possible to catch her. At the same time a man jumps out of nowhere to catch her. The little girl hugs the man and says "Daddy, I'm sorry that I scared you". The man pulls her into his arms and says "Don't ever do that again, pumpkin. I'll have a heart attack if something happens to you".

Kate immediately recognized the voice. It was his. Her true love. Her One and Done. Her Richard Castle.

"Ca-Castle" she stuttered.

He thought he was dreaming. That was the voice he was waiting to hear from past 10 years. He looked up at her. Her emerald green eyes were looking at his ocean blue eyes.

"Kate?" he sounded shocked. "Are you here for real?" he said.

The little girl in his arms giggled and said "Yes, silly. She's here for real".

"Jo, go and play with your friends. And please don't fall again" he said softly.

The little girl saluted him and said "Aye, Aye Captain" and ran towards her friends.

He looked at Kate again, like she was a dream. That's gonna vanish in a second.

She understood what he wanted to know. She reached for his hands and gave a slight squeeze. "I'm here for real, Castle. It's not a dream".

That's what he wanted to hear. He pulled her into his arms and hugged her like there's no tomorrow. She hugged him back. She pulled back to see tears in his eyes.

"I'm not letting you get away. Not this time, Kate" he said in broken yet confident voice. She could make out the desperation in his voice.

Before she could tell something, she heard you her son's voice "Mom, Mom where are you?"

As soon as he saw her, he ran towards her and plugged into her arms. She hugged him and said "I'm so sorry, Alex" and wiped his tears. "I thought I lost you, mom" he said through weeps.

"Hey buddy, your Mom won't let you get lost. I promise, she won't" Rick spoke in a soft voice. But it also had the hint of rejection and betrayal.

"Alex, this is my friend, Cas- Rick. And Rick, this is my son, Alexander" she spoke hoping he would understand. And he understood, like he always did.

She asked Alex to go and play. And promises him she would be here only.

They both sat in a silence for a while, which seemed like eternity to them. He was the first one to break the silence.

"How have you been, Kate?"

"I've been good, Castle. How have you been?" she spoke with a little fear in her voice.

"Same old, Kate. Same old. Nothing's changed here" he replied.

Again silence took its place.

"How long have you been married, Kate?" he asked without looking at her.

"I've been married for 8 years" she replied looking at him. She could see how hurt he was and she couldn't do anything.

"Does he love you, Kate?" he forced the words out of his mouth.

"Yes" she replied.

"Does he make you happy?" he asked.

"Yes".

"Does he treat you well?" he asked.

"He does" she said.

That's all I need to know, Kate. I'm happy for you" he said with a smile.

"Thank you, Rick. For understanding" she said.

He put his hand over hers and said "Always, Kate. Always"

"Everyone misses you, Kate. You should meet them" he told her.

"God! Everyone must hate me so much" she said

"No one hates you, Kate. Angry-yes. Hate-Never" he reassured her.

"How am I going to face them?" she asked herself

"There's nothing called facing your loved ones. You are going back to them" he replied.

"Tell me about everyone, Castle"

"Well, Javi and Lanie married 5 years ago and have a 3 years old son. Kevin and Jenny have a 8 year old daughter. I still live at the loft with mother and father. Alexis married and moved in with Jason 5 years ago. And I have a 2 year old Granddaughter named Katie." He finished with a smile on his face.

"Wow. That's so good. What about you, Rick?" she asked.

"Still single" he replied.

"So the little girl isn't yours?" she asked in shock.

"No, she's my half-sister, Rachel's daughter. She died due to complications while giving birth to her" he replied.

"I'm so sorry, Rick" she said

"It's ok, Kate. But now she's my daughter" he said with a smile.

"What's her full name, Castle?" she asked

"Johanna Castle" he replied looking at her.

He heard her gasp. She never thought he could keep her mother's name to his daughter, even after what she's done to him.

"I've read the Nikki Heat novels you wrote after I left, it was good" she spoke in a shaky voice.

"My muse was away, but her memories weren't" he replied

"Why, Castle? Why didn't you move on?" she asked

"It's not easy to move on from something you are inseparable from, Kate" he said

His phone rang. It was Alexis. He still had the ringtone for her.

"Hello. Yes, pumpkin. She's with me. We are in Central park. We'll be there in a while. Bye" he kept the call

"I've gotta go, Kate. Think about what I said" he told her.

"Jo, come on. We gotta go. Lex is waiting for us" he called Jo. She came running towards him.

"Daddy, can we come here tomorrow again?" she asked with puppy eyes.

"Yeah. Yeah. But now stop giving me the puppy eyes" he said picking her in his arms.

"You're the world's best Daddy" she kissed him.

"And you're the world's best Daughter" she said and kissed her forehead.

"Daddy isn't she from the photos in your bedroom?" she asked.

"Yes, sweetheart. She's my friend. Kate, this is my daughter Jo and Jo this is my friend, Kate" he said.

"Hey there, little girl" Kate said.

"It's getting late, we should go" he said. He kissed Kate's forehead and said "Don't be a stranger, Kate"

"I won't. Same number?"

"Never changed" he said with smile and walked towards the gate.

She looked at him walking away and felt a strange pain in her heart. Like she's losing herself all over again. She wondered whether her friends would forgive her.

She was sure about one thing that she needed to pay visit to her therapist again. She couldn't do this alone.

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><p><strong>I've have no idea, why I got this plot into my mind.. I couldn't ignore it at all.. So had to write this..<strong> **Reviews are always welcome..** **Will be glad to hear from you all..**

**Love, **

**Varsha**!


	2. Chapter 2

**Thank you so much for your reviews.. :) I'm glad you guys liked it.. Here goes the next chapter.. Read on..**

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><p>He walked towards the gate with Jo in his arms. He was angry at her leaving. He wanted to shout and tell her how much he was hurt. Yet he controlled his anger and frustration. He didn't want to cry in front of his little Jo. He held back his tears.<p>

He reached for the elevator in his building and the only thought that he had in his mind and heart was why he loved her so much, even after what she'd done to him. Even after knowing she was married to someone else. How can he?

He entered the loft and Jo ran towards Katie.

Katie, she was named after Kate by Alexis. Because she missed her too much. Her ideal mother figure in her life. How can he tell her that the woman her dad truly loves was married?

Alexis looked at him and knew in a moment that something was wrong. He walked past her to the kitchen and took a bottle of scotch. Walked into his study and locked the door.

She pulled out her phone and dialed a number.

"Hello, Grams. Can you come home soon?" spoke worriedly.

"Alexis, darling calm down. Now, tell me what happened?" Martha asked in a worried voice.

"I don't know, Grams. Dad and Jo had been to Central park. They just got back and Dad picked a bottle of scotch and locked himself in his study"

"I'll be there in 10. And ask Jo what happen in the park" she told and disconnected the call.

Alexis calmed herself and sat next to Jo.

"What happen in the park, sweet pea?" she asked.

"I was about to fall and dad caught me" Jo said

Alexis knew her Dad was protective about her and Jo. But he wouldn't react like this just because of a fall.

"Did Dad meet someone there, Jo?" she asked.

"Yes, when I was about to fall, a lady came to catch me. She took Daddy's name and Daddy took her name and then they talked" Jo said.

"What did Dad call her, Jo?" Alexis asked.

"He called her Kate. She the woman from photos in Daddy's bedroom" She replied.

Alexis was shocked and stunned. She never expected Kate to come back into their lived like this. Not now, when all the things were getting back to normal. She hated her so much for hurting her Dad and leaving without a word. She loved her. But now the hatred was stronger than her love. She could never forgive Kate, ever.

But Alexis knew her Dad would forgive her. He already must have forgiven her.

Alexis still remembers the first and the last time she was her Dad in depression 8 years ago.

_*Flashback*_

"_Dad, you gotta stop acting like this. You're worrying us" she spoke._

"_I know, honey. But I can't. I need her. I love her. It hurts like hell" he said in a broken voice._

"_Dad, please stop drinking and listen to me, she's not worth it. You're giving yourself this pain, not to her. She's happy somewhere right now. You need to move on" Alexis begged._

"_I can't, Lex. She is inseparable from me. I feel like I'm lost. There is this big empty hole inside me. I can't handle it. It's killing me" he cried._

_It was first time ever Alexis had seen her Dad crying. He was so desperate to see her. To be with her. Alexis hated her. For ruining everyone's life._

"_Richard, you are a strong man. You can overcome this. You can convert the hole into a big space for all the love and happiness from us and friends around you" Martha spoke._

"_Mother, I need her. Please find her for me" he begged her._

_Alexis couldn't take it more. She ran into her grandfather's arms and started crying._

"_Richard, do you want all of us to cry and sit like this. Please, Son you need to stay strong and overcome this. If not for you, at least for your daughter. She's worried about you. You keep acting like this; she'll leave her college and look after you. Is that what you want? Your daughter leaving all her dreams and looking after you?" Martha said._

"_No. That's not what I want for Alexis" he said._

"_Then don't do this. She's hardly slept in a week. She just keeps looking at your door every night. She hears you sob all night long and cries herself to sleep" She said._

"_Mother, what should I do? I don't know what to do?"_

"_Firstly, get cleaned up. Get some help. A therapist, a yoga instructor, anything that'll calm you down and get you out of this depression. Secondly, you can continue writing Nikki Heat novels. I'm sure she'll read. You can reach out to her. Even if she doesn't. Stop hurting yourself, Son" Martha begged._

_For the first time in years, Richard Alexander Rodgers crawled into his mother's lap and cried and cried till he was exhausted and sleep overtook his senses._

_Martha hated seeing her son so vulnerable. It's was like watching a strong pillar go down because of one small crack._

_He needed to come out of it. Not only for himself, but for all the others around him. They were worried and were following him everywhere. No one had an idea, what his brain and heart was thinking. He would get frustrated on anyone. He would become angry, even for the simplest mistakes. He was losing his capacity to cope. _

_Martha knew one person who could talk to him and give him the right push to come out of it._

_Jim Beckett._

_She needed to talk to him and let Jim know what Richard's condition is._

_*End of Flashback*_

Tears didn't stop. Alexis was too overwhelmed with anger and sadness all over again. She herself took therapy to calm her down and to help her Dad get over depression.

Her mind was filled with thoughts.

It took a year for him to get out of depression and have a clean and stable mind. The media didn't even know about it.

Why now? Dad was just starting to think about dating again.

How can she just come back and screw things now?

I hope Dad doesn't get back to depression. I can't see him again going through all of it.

Her thought train was stop when she felt a hand on her shoulder.

"Alexis, why are you crying? What happen?" Martha asked worriedly.

She neither had the voice nor the guts to tell her.

"Lex, speak something sweetheart. You're getting us worried" she heard her Grandfather tell.

Alexis put together all the energy and spoke

"Kate" and fresh tears rolled down her tears.

Martha was shocked to hear Kate's name. They never spoke about her aloud. Everyone missed her. She was in everyone's thoughts and prayers but not in talks.

"Alexis, what about Kate?" Martha asked.

"Dad and Jo met her in Central Park" Alexis replied through her tears.

"She's back" Martha spoke.

It was not a question. It was a statement. And she knew it wasn't good for anyone right now.

Based on her Son's reaction, she could make out that the meeting didn't go well. But why? That was all her thought.

Richard would be happy to see her. She needed to talk to him. But before that she needed to talk to someone else.

She picked her phone and dialed a number.

"Hello, Martha. What a pleasant surprise!" came the voice from other side.

"Hello, Sorry to call you at this time." She said.

"Martha, is everything alright? You sound worried" he said.

"When was the last time you spoke to Kate, Jim?" Martha asked.

"3 months ago. Why Martha? What happen?" Jim asked.

"Richard met Kate at Central Park today" she replied.

"What? She's back? I didn't know about it. And Martha is Richard alright?" Jim asked worriedly.

"No, he's not. He's locked himself in the study" Martha spoke.

"I'm coming over. I'll be there in an hour" Jim said

"Jim, you don't have to. We'll handle him" Martha said.

"It's okay, Martha. I owe him that much" Jim said and disconnected the call.

She sat down next to Alexis and pulled into a hug.

"Jim's on his way here. Once he comes, we'll talk to Richard" she said.

"Grams, I don't want Dad to hurt again. I can't see him like this" Alexis wept.

"Lex, he'll be fine. I promise. He needs to be strong for you, me, gramps, Jason, Katie and more importantly for Jo" Martha assured her.

"I'll ask Jason to take Jo and Katie for ice-cream" Alexis said wiping her tears.

"That's good. I don't want these kids to see him like this" Martha spoke.

The only thought in Martha's mind was. Why was her son reacting like this? Did she tell him that she didn't love him? What did she tell him?

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><p><strong>This was a little tough one to write. Hope you like it.<strong>

**Don't forget to leave a review.. (It helps me write fast!)**

**Love, **

**Varsha!**


	3. Chapter 3

**New chapter. Thank you so much for reviews. I'm glad you like it.**

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><p>Kate reached home and found Robert in living room.<p>

"Alex, go and have a shower baby. I'll make something for you eat" Kate said.

She sat next to Rob.

"Kate, what happened?" Rob said.

Kate just sat quiet.

"Kate, please tell me what's wrong. You're getting me worried" Rob said.

"I don't know where to start from" she replied.

"Honey, start from anywhere. I'll listen" he said.

"10 years ago when you met me, I was running away from this very city" she said.

"So, you lived in New York 10 years ago" he stated.

"When you said we were coming here, I freaked out. I didn't let it out. But I was scared where I'll meet the people from the past" she explained him.

"Did you meet someone from your past?" he asked

"Yes"

"Who?" he asked.

"The person I love the most and from whom I ran away" she said looking at him.

"Your one and done" he said.

"Yes" she replied.

"Even after all these years, you love him right?" he asked.

"Yes. I do." She said

"Then, why are you sad?" he asked.

"After all these years, I lied to him again" she said.

"What did you lie about?" he asked.

She didn't reply.

"Damn it, Kate. Please tell me, you didn't lie about Alex and me?" he said angrily.

"I'm sorry, Rob. But he doesn't need to know the truth" she said.

"Kate, he needs to know. It's his right!" he yelled.

"Rob, please don't shout. I don't want Alex to know about this" she begged him.

"Please understand Kate, you need him and he needs you. I've seen you drinking, crying and feeling guilty for leaving from here 10 years ago" he pleaded.

"But legally we are married, Rob" she said.

"I'm a lawyer, Kate. I can get a divorce case done within hours" he said.

"No. I'm not letting you do that" she said.

"Do you even remember why I married you 8 years ago?" he asked.

"Rob, I've gotta to make something for Alex to eat" she said to avoid his question.

"Just think about what I said, Kate. You don't deserve this. Neither does he. I don't know, who he is, but you deserve him" he said. 

At the loft, Jason took Katie and Jo out for dinner and ice cream. He respected Richard Castle even more after knowing what he did for his love. He didn't like to see his father-in-law crying and hurting like this. He needed to take out the kids too. They shouldn't see him like this.

Alexis was sickly worried of her dad. She didn't know what to expect from this situation.

Jim came to the loft in half an hour.

He owed Richard Castle a lot.

After Kate left, he searched her everywhere. He spent 3 years of his life trying to find her.

He knocked the study door and said "Rick, its Jim. We need to talk to you. Please come out."

"Give me a while, Jim. I'll come out. I'm fine." Rick replied.

Everyone in the room knew, if he tells he's fine, he's really not fine.

"Okay, Rick" Jim said

After 15 minutes Rick unlocked the door and came out.

Alexis and Martha got up and ran towards him and hugged him.

"I'm fine" he said.

"You scared us, Dad" Alexis said.

"Sorry. But I needed some time to think and I needed a drink" he said.

"Jo said that you met Kate in the park" Martha said.

"Did you meet her, Rick?" Jim asked.

"Yes. I met her. She was there with her son" he replied.

"So-son?" Alexis stuttered.

"What? She's married?" Jim said shocked.

"Yes" he replied.

"I'm so sorry, Richard" Martha said.

"Don't be sorry, Mother. I need you to meet Kate" he said.

"Richard.." Martha said.

"Please, trust me with this" he replied.

"But why?" Martha questioned.

"You'll understand that when you meet her. Do you trust me?" he asked.

"Yes, I do" Martha spoke.

"Then, meet her. Please, do it for me" he pleaded.

"Fine" she sighed.

"Jim, are you alright?" Rick asked.

"I'm shocked. She calls me every month and yet she's never mentioned to me that she's married and that I have a grand kid" he spoke sadly.

"She had a reason, Jim" Rick said.

"Dad, don't try to protect her" Alexis spoke angrily.

"Lex, please let Mother meet her once. Then everything will be clear" he assured her.

"Just don't fall into the hole. I can't see you like that all over again" she wept.

"I promise. I won't" he promised her. 

Rick Castle picked his phone and dialed a number.

"Hey bro. What's up?" Javier Esposito spoke from the other end.

"Javi, where are you?" he asked.

"In home bro. Not on call" he replied.

"Lanie?" he said.

"She's here" he replied.

"Okay wait. I'll get Kevin also on a conference call" Rick said.

"What's wrong, Castle?" Javi said.

"Hold on a sec" he said.

"Hello, Castle. What's up?" Kevin spoke.

"Your on a conference call. Javi and Lanie are also there" Rick replied.

"Okay.. What's up guys?" Kevin said.

"Rick, speak up before I come to the loft and smack you" Lanie warned.

"Okay. You gotta promise me something first" Rick said.

"And what's that?" Kevin asked.

"You guys are not talking and no one's going anywhere till I finish" Rick said.

"Fine. I promise" Lanie said.

"Me too" said Kevin.

"Javi?" Rick called out.

"This doesn't sound good. But still, I promise" Javi said.

"Thank you" Rick said.

"Now, talk" Lanie said.

With a heavy sigh he spoke.

None of them expected to hear what they heard from him.

"I met Kate today" Rick said.

There was silence for a minute.

"You guys there?" Rick asked.

All three of them spoke together.

"What?" Javi said.

"Where?" Lanie asked.

"You gotta be kidding me!" Kevin said angrily.

"Yes, I met her in Central Park. She was there with her son" he said.

"She's married?" Lanie said shocked.

"Yes" Rick replied.

"I'm gonna go for a walk" Javi said and walked away, handing the phone to Lanie.

"I'm sorry, Lanie" Rick said.

"Not your mistake, Castle. You know who's mistake it is" Lanie said.

"Rick, is she meeting you again?" Kevin asked.

"I don't know. I want to meet her" he admitted.

"Rick, don't do this" Lanie said.

"No, I need to. I need to clear something very important" he said.

"If you're meeting her tell me, I need some answers" Kevin said angrily.

"Kevin, relax" Lanie said.

"No, Lanie. Not this time" he said and cut the call.

"How is she, Rick?" Lanie asked. Her own thoughts were betraying her. She never wanted to know about Kate. But she couldn't stop herself from asking Castle.

"She looked same. Except I saw hurt and guilt in her eyes" Rick spoke in soft voice.

"She deserves it" Lanie spoke in anger.

"Lanie.." he warned.

"No, Rick. She does. After what she did to you, I can't forgive her. That's too much to ask for" Lanie explained.

"Gotta go, Lanie. I'll tell you, if she calls me." he said.

"Take care of yourself, Rick. Bye" Lanie cut the call.

Lanie wondered why Rick wanted to meet Kate even after knowing she's married.

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><p><strong>Hope you liked this chapter.<strong>

**Don't forget to leave a review.**

**Love,**

**Varsha!**


	4. Chapter 4

**So sorry for the late update.. Have been busy with life! Stuck up with some problems..**

**As far as this chapter goes, it's rated "M".. Read it only if you could handle it.. ;)**

**Now, scroll down and start reading! :)**

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><p>Late in the night, Kate couldn't sleep. All see could think was about Castle. Why did that man love me so much? He should be angry with me. Why is he not? I did such horrible things to him. Why does he always put me in crosshairs?<p>

She remembered how she met Rick 8 years ago. And he didn't even know it was reality.

_*Flashback*_

_Kate was working as a consultant in a modeling agency. She wanted to go into modeling, but knew it would be risky. While watching TV, she heard that "The play boy Richard Castle" was in town. And at that moment she knew, he was looking for her._

_She took a day off and sat in her apartment, crying. She didn't even realize when she started crying and drinking along with it._

_The next thing she knows is that she's walking into the hotel where Castle was staying._

_She knocked on the door of his suite. She didn't a response. She knocked again. This time the door opened._

_She pulled Castle by his shirt and crashed her lips on his. Castle was also drunk beyond the limit. He just thought this was his dream like always. But little did he know, this was reality._

_Rick pulled Kate to the bed and kissed her like there is no tomorrow. He took the charge and took off her shirt. He kissed her forehead and whispered in her ears "You're so beautiful, Kate". Kate felt goose bumps all over her body by tone of his voice. It was magical._

_She pulled over his shirt. She was mesmerized by his body. "Why the hell do you hide this body under those suits?"_

"_I don't want anyone else other than you to see it" he replied with a smile and turned his attention towards her lips._

_He kissed her passionately and said "You're wearing way too many clothes, Kate"_

"_Then, take it off, Big Rick" she grinned._

_That was what Castle needed to hear. In a fraction of seconds her shirt and jeans were off and he was looking at her like he was memorizing every part of her body._

_He unclasped the bra and looked at those perfect breasts. He attacked those erect nipples with his mouth. Kate moaned in pleasure and he made her moan sinfully. Kate's thoughts were very vivid by this moment. If he is this good with his mouth, how good must he be actually? No one has ever worshipped me like this. I love it when he goes bossy on me._

_Her thoughts were stopped when she felt his fingers searching for her pussy. Her body was on fire. He had just shown his attention to her breasts. And she was already dripping wet. She was never this desperate for anyone to touch her._

_Rick was harder than he could ever think. Her moans turned him on incredibly. It was like hearing a sensual and enchanting voice moaning his name repeatedly. She was an angel in front of his eyes. The sight was to die for._

_She buried her hands in his hair as he went even lower. Her eyes flew open as she felt his mouth touching her inner thighs. "Rick!" she moaned out load. He looked up at her. His blue eyes staring straight at her emerald green ones. God, she could see all his passion and love inside those eyes._

_He smiled at her and lowered his head to her core. Was he really going to do this? He hovered above her for a second. Making her wait for what was to come. The anticipation was killing her. He softly nibbled, which caused her to lift her hips up involuntary. "Rick, pleeaasse!" she whined. _

_And then it happened. His tongue came out to lick her. It was a long lick from bottom to top, which had her grinding her mound against his face. "Oh my goddd!" she moaned. She grabbed on to his hair and held on for the ride. _

_He circled around her clit for a second, before dipping his tongue into her entrance. Her eyes rolled in the back of her head. "Oh fuck!" she panted loudly. The sensation of his breath on her when he licked her, caused her to rear up again. Rick used the movement to slide his hands underneath her bottom, giving him better access. _

"_You have to be quiet. You don't want to wake the entire hotel, do you?" he grinned up at her, before continuing his assault on her again. He was making it very difficult for her to stay quiet. He attacked her relentlessly. Finally, after what seemed like hours, he took mercy on her. He slid a finger up inside of her and sucked hard on her nub. She fell apart instantly. "Rickkkkkkk!" she moaned._

_He gave her a while to calm herself down. Her breathing was back to normal. She moved towards him and gave an evil smirk._

"_Now it's my turn to taste you" she said and began to unbutton his pant. _

_She was shocked to see his length._

"_Wow! I don't want to inflate your ego, but this is the longest I've seen Rick" she moaned._

_Rick had this proud and silly grin on his face._

_Kate's tongue flicked against him before she swallowed his cock into her warm mouth. Rick was over joyed with the feeling of her tongue over his manhood. He gabbed on to her hair and looked forward to his climax. __Kate moaned and hummed, licked, and sucked him like a lollipop._

_She kissed the tip of his cock and licked at the head before surrounding him again and gliding back down. She slipped her hand between his legs and cupped his balls, massaging gently while the fingers of her other hand encircled the base of his cock. He thrust against her and groaned._

_She loved the silky smoothness of his cock, the power of his rigid length pulsing in her mouth. His musky scent heightened her desire and his groans of pleasure turned her on to a new level._

"_More. More" he panted._

_Kate sucked him and played with his balls, gently squeezing them. She felt as his balls tightened to his body and moans started to come from his throat. Warm cum shot into her mouth and she swallowed every drop of it._

"_That was so damn HOT, Kate" Rick said in a husky voice._

_He sucked on her neck. And bit her lightly so it wouldn't draw any blood out. She was moaning low in her throat. She was incredibly turned on._

"_Rickk… Please" Kate moaned._

"_Please what, Kate?" he teased her._

"_I need you inside me. Now" she hissed._

"_Bossy! I like it" he grinned and got down to work._

_Unable to wait any longer Rick located her pussy and with one firm thrust of his hips drove his hard cock into her. He was surprised and excited at the how wet her pussy was again. He paused when he had pushed his entire length into her and gave Kate time to adjust to his size. _

_He reached up and grabbed her by the hips and then began to pull his hips back making his hard cock slide back. He waited until only the head of his cock remained wedged between her pussy lips and then shoved it back into her, pulling her by her hips to drive more into her. He began to pump himself into her wet pussy eagerly._

_He groaned deep in his throat as he rammed his cock into her, making her gasp loudly when he did. He began to shove his cock into her firmly with each thrust._

"_Ohh… Rickkkkkkk" Kate moaned sinfully._

_He gripped her firm breasts as he resumed pumping his cock into her again, with short hard thrusts._ _Kate groaned longingly and tossed her head back in pleasure. Rick felt her pussy muscles flexing tightly around his cock_. _Then there was a thick rush of her warm cream around his cock as she let out a long shuddering moan._

_Giving her breasts one last quick squeeze and slid his hands back down to her hips. With increased vigor he began to slam his cock in and out of her._

"_Yes, yes. Oh yes," she panted breathlessly. She looked into his eyes begging, "Cum inside me, Rick!"_

_His balls were already tight and he knew that in a real short time he was going to shoot his cum in her pussy. He held there as he shoved his cock into her once more. Rick let out a long low shuddering groan as he held himself buried deep in her hole. Kate squealed as she felt his hard cock pulse inside of her and then his juice began to spurt into her pussy. _

_Breathing heavily he lay down next to her with his forehead resting on her left breast._

"_That was amazing" both spoke at the same time._

"_I love you, Kate" he said._

"_I love you too, Castle" Kate replied._

_And both fell into deep sleep with smiles on their faces._

_When Kate woke up, her head was pounding and she was in Rick's arms._

"_Oh God! What have I done?" she asked herself._

_She slowly moved out of his arms and dressed up without waking Castle up._

"_I'm sorry, Rick. But need to leave. I'll destroy you and everyone around you. Please forgive me, if you can. I really love you and I always will" she said to him and ran out of there._

_*End of Flashback*_

Kate had tears in eyes. She knew that for the first time in her life that she had done something so wrong then. And now, she felt the same feeling. She was hurting for leaving Rick years ago and now she was hurting for lying to him.

She had called Dr. Burke and fixed an appointment for her session. She needed help. She was worried what he would think of her. Let's just leave it to time she thought.

On the other side of the city, Rick knew that Alex was his son. He just wanted his mother to see him and react to it. He always thought the love they made was his dream. But not now. Today he realized it was her. And how much that night meant to both of them.

"Why did you, Kate? Why?" he whispered to himself.

He needed these answers. But for now, she was in contact with him and in town was enough for him.

"Daddy?" he heard Jo's voice.

"Hey Pumpkin, what happen?" he asked taking her into his arms and walking into the bedroom.

"You were not there, I got scared" she spoke snuggling into his neck.

"Sorry sweet pea. Now, daddy's here. You can sleep, I'll be here when you wake up. I promise" he put her on bed and slid next to her.

"Good night, Daddy" Jo smiled.

"Night, Love" he kissed her forehead.

With all the things happening around him, he felt he was happy and content with Jo. He realized even though he loves Kate so much, his life doesn't need to be only about her.

Before he could think anything else he fell into deep and peaceful slumber.

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><p><strong>Hate it? Love it?<strong>

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**Love,**

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	5. Chapter 5

**I'm so very sorry for such a late update. My life has been very busy. I guess this is the first time in my life that I'm messed up soo much. And please don't mind any mistake in this chapter coz I've written it in few hours. I know this is a short chapter. Will post another chapter in 2-3 days..  
><strong>

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><p>Kate barely got some sleep. Her mind was on the ultimate truth and Castle. How was she going to get out of this mess? Will all her friends forgive her?<p>

"You need to let those words out, Kate. You know that, don't you?" Rob asked sitting on a table nearby.

"You don't think I want to?" Kate asked.

"Then, stop pretending you don't care. Just go and talk" he replied.

"It's not easy" Kate said.

"It is. I'm not asking you to go and tell him everything at once but you could start with a small truth that you still love him" he spoke as he sat next to her on the couch.

"Why, Rob? Why are you doing this?" she said looking at him.

He took her hands in his hands and spoke.

"Because I've seen you cry. Seen you in guilt. For not telling him that the love you made was real. That Alex is his Son. That you only love him. I lost my love too. I know how it feels. But you've got a second chance. Don't ruin it. I married you because you needed someone during that time. Yes, we have grown close since then. But that doesn't mean I own you. I need you to choose what's right for you and Alex. And He is the RIGHT one. This is not a game, Kate. This is life. Reality is what we need to believe in. I need you to sign the divorce papers. This is it for us. You need to let me go. Go and be happy with him. I'm sure he still loves you."

"Rob, I can't let you ruin your life because of me" Kate said with tears running down her cheeks.

"Is it any better now? You, thinking about him. Me, worrying about you. For once, let's just forget about us and think about Alex. He needs his father. Moreover you need your family and friends. I Promise you, I'll be here whenever you need me as your friend" Rob pleaded her.

"I don't know" she said.

"Please just think about it" he begged. He got up and kissed her forehead and walked towards his room.

Kate didn't know what to do. She was confused. She wanted to tell Castle everything and go back to him but she didn't wanna hurt Rob. The only thing she knew was she needed to make a decision soon.

Next morning, Rob was off to work and Alex was in school.

She decided to meet Rick and talk to him. But she was not sure what she was doing.

She picked up her phone and dialed Castle's number.

On the other side of the city, Rick was busy feeding Jo and Katie breakfast.

And his phone chirped with a melodies music.

"Can you take the call sweetie?" Rick asked Alexis.

"sure, Dad" replied Alexis.

"Hello, Richard Castle's phone" she said.

"Hello. Um.. It's Kate here. How are you, Lex?" Kate asked.

"Dad, a call for you" she called out and handed the phone to Rick and rushed towards the stairs.

"Hello?" Rick spoke.

"Hey.. It's me" she said from the other side.

"Hold on a sec. Jason, can you feed them? I'll be back in a while" he asked Jason to feed his little girls.

Rick walked into his study and closed the door.

"I'm so sorry, Kate" he spoke.

"Don't be, Castle. It's not your fault" she replied.

"I just wish.. that Alexis would have spoken to you" he said disappointed.

"It'll take time, Castle" she replied.

"Why did you call, Kate?" he asked.

She was surprised by his directness but she also it was not easy for him to talk about everything.

"I wanted to meet you and talk to you" she said hoping he would understand. Who was kidding? She always knew he would understand. Even if it's not his place to understand.

"Sure.. When do you wanna meet?" he asked.

"Afternoon" she replied.

"Sure.. Can you come to the loft? Everyone is going out expect Mom and she wants to meet you" Rick said in a breath.

"Okay. I'll come by 2. Is it okay if I bring Alex with me?" she asked.

"Yeah.. Sure.. See you then" he said.

"Yeah.. Bye" she said.

"Bye" and he cut the call.

He put his head on the table and wondered why everything in his life was so complicated? He got up and walked towards the door and made up his mind that he needed to sort out thing with Alexis first and then he'll think about everything else.

"Jason, did Lex come down?" he asked his son-in-law.

"No Dad. She's still up. Is everything alright?" he asked.

"It'll be fine" Rick replied and Jason understood.

He walked up the stairs and knocked on Alexis' door.

"Can I talk to you for a second, pumpkin?" he asked.

"Give me a second, Dad" Alexis replied.

She slowly opened the door and moved towards her bed. Castle followed her and sat next to next her.

"Pumpkin, I know that you are angry with her. You know that, she wants to make it right. Just help her figure this out. Can you do it for me?" he asks her.

"How can you be normal with her, Dad?" she asked.

"Because how much ever she hurts me, I still love her very much. And I can't deny that" he replied with a smile.

"Even when she's married to someone else and has a kid?" she questioned him.

"I know it looks bad. But there are some things I need to clear with her. Will you please trust me on this?" he asked.

She nodded in silence and hugged him.

"I know you've seen breakdown and go through a hell, but not this time, pumpkin" he assured her.

"Okay. But only for you" she said.

"She's coming home in afternoon. I need to clear things out with her. Will you and Jason take the girls out?" he asked.

"We will. You'll tell me right?" she asked.

"Of course, Pumpkin" he whispered into her hair.

They walked back into the kitchen to find the girls laughing with Jason and Martha.

"Girls, let's go and get ready. We are going out for park and ice creams" said Alexis.

"Yayyy" shouted both the girls.

"Mother, Kate's coming here by 2. Please don't make any plans?" Rick said.

"Richard, is it a good idea?" his mother asked worried.

"Mother, please just once meet her" he pleaded.

"Okay" she muttered to herself.

Back at the precinct Detective Javier Esposito and Detective Kevin Ryan could not concentrate on the work. They gave their case to other the team. Even Gates was shocked by their behavior.

"Detectives, in my office please" Gates ordered.

"You called us, Sir?" Ryan asked.

"Take a seat" she said closing the door.

"It's alright, Sir" said Esposito.

"I'm not talking to you as your Captain, Javi" she replied.

"Let's just sit down alright, Javi?" said Ryan.

"What's wrong, Kevin? It's first that I've seen you guys give away a case" she asked worriedly.

"Kate's back" Javi spoke.

"What? After 10 years?" she asked.

"Yup. And that idiot still loves her even though she's married and has a kid" Ryan said frustrated.

"What? Married? A kid?" asked Gates surprised.

"I know it's shocking. But it's the truth. We can't forgive her for what she did to Rick" said Javi.

"I know. I act like I don't like him but he's a nice man" Gates said.

"We don't know, what's going to happen" Ryan said sadly.

"Whatever happens, happens for good. Now, you guys take the day off" she told them.

"Thanks, Victoria" said Javi as he got up and moved towards the door.

"Let's go the Old Haunt, Bro. I could really use a drink right now" said Ryan.

"I could use a lot of them" said Esposito.

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><p><strong>Please do review it..<strong>

**Don't forget it..**

**I could really use some love and reviews right now!**

**Varsha! **


	6. Chapter 6

**Here goes the 6th Chapter.. Hope you guys like it.**

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><p>When Esposito and Ryan reached the Old Haunt, they didn't expect to see Alexis there.<p>

"Hey.. What are you doing here, Lex?" asked Javi sitting on the other side of booth.

"Needed a drink desperately, Javi" she said exhausted.

"So do I" said Kevin.

Javi ordered a bottle of Bourbon and Kevin ordered a bottle of Scotch.

"So.. What's up?" asked Kevin.

"Kate's coming home in afternoon. And I didn't wanna be around her" she said.

"What the hell is wrong with your Dad?" Javier said angrily.

"I don't know. It's like he knows a big secret and wants to confront her with it" she sighed.

"He's doing a mistake by trusting her again" Javi spoke.

"He won't listen to anyone" Alexis said.

"Why now? After so many years. He was starting to live again" Kevin said.

"All we can hope is that this doesn't end badly" she said.

"Hope so too" Javi said before drinking a peg Bourbon at once.

Back at the loft, Rick was sitting and thinking about what will his Mother's reaction will be after she sees Alex.

"Richard, what are you thinking about so much? And I don't understand why you want me to meet Kate" Martha said dramatically.

"Mother, Can you just please truth me on this one?" he asked.

All she could do was nod and wonder why was her Son acting like this.

There was a knock on the door. Rick took a deep breath and got up from the couch.

"Time for some truth, Mother" he said walking towards the door.

Martha didn't understand what he was talking about.

He opened the door.

"Hey Kate, come on in" he said.

As Rick moved away from the door, she felt like she was in a Deja-vu. She couldn't believe her eyes. It was like seeing memories from old days. She was speechless.

"Hi Martha" Kate said hesitantly.

"Mother?" Rick said.

"Um.. Huh.. How?" was all she could say.

"Mother, just sit down" Rick said worried.

"Is she alright?" Kate asked.

"Just give her a moment" he said.

"Alex, buddy would you like to watch cartoon?" he asked.

He looked up to his Mom and as soon as she nodded, he smiled brightly and nodded.

Rick led him to his office and switched on the TV for him and said "Just call if you need anything buddy".

Then he joined Kate and his mother in the living room.

"Mother, are you okay?" he asked.

"Can you get me a drink?" Martha said.

He nodded.

"And Kate, what do you want?" he asked.

"Just water" she replied.

Rick got his mother a glass of wine and Kate a glass of water.

"Just answer my question, Richard. How did all this happen?" Martha asked.

Kate was confused as to what Martha was talking about.

"I don't know. This is the reason I wanted you to meet her" he said.

"What are you talking about, Castle?" asked Kate.

"Um.. I know that Alex is my Son, Kate" he said looking into her eyes.

She was completely taken back and shocked by his statement. She felt like someone hit her hard on her gut.

"H-How did you know?" she stammered.

"You know he just looks like him, Kate" Martha said.

"What?" she blurted out.

"He looks exactly how I looked in my childhood, Kate" Rick explained.

Rick got Kate the photos from his childhood.

She was stunned at the photos. Alex was just like Rick except for his green eyes.

"I'm so sorry, Rick. I wish I was not such a coward. I wish I didn't runaway like that the next morning" Kate said.

"What? Can please tell me everything?" Martha asked.

Both Kate and Rick nodded.

"Kate, I'll tell my side of the story I remember and you can tell yours" he said and she nodded.

"Mother, you remember the time when I went to Canada in search of her?" he asked.

"Yes. How can forget that?" she said sarcastically.

"Mother" he warned.

"What? A mother doesn't like to her only son breaking down" she said.

Kate was shocked to hear that Rick broke down.

"Please, Mother. Can I continue now?" he asked.

And Martha nodded.

"I searched for her everywhere I thought she could be. But I didn't find her. After the 10th day, I was disappointed and started drinking. I didn't stop drinking till they closed the pub. After they closed, I went back to my room and raided the bar there. At one point of time I heard the door knock and I ignored it. Then again someone knocked and I opened the door. And I found Kate standing in front of me. And that night we made love. I woke to an empty bed and thought it was either dream or I slept with someone else. And that's the reason I broke down. I couldn't handle the fact that I couldn't find her" he said in a broken voice.

Both Martha and Kate were taken back with this confession. They all sat in an awkward silence for few minutes.

"Now, it's your side of the story, Kate" said Martha.

"I was working as a consultant in a modeling company. I remember seeing on the TV that Rick Castle was in Canada. At that instant I knew he was there for me. I took a day off from work and started drinking and crying. I don't remember how I reached to the hotel where Rick stayed. We made love and we passed out. When I woke up, I saw was him sleeping peacefully. It just dawned on me that I could spoil all his peacefulness. I was damaged and I could damage him too. And all I needed was to get away from him. I got ready and left. I reached to apartment and cried till I fell asleep. After 2 months I realized that I was pregnant. I didn't want to lose my child too. Rob was my roommate. He'd seen he cry and drink daily. But once I stopped drinking, he knew something was wrong. And after a while he got to know that I was pregnant. By the time, I couldn't handle things alone. I had a few complications in third month itself. The doctor advised me not to work. I didn't work for a month. But then I was left with no cash. Then my Rob came up with the idea of taking out the money his parents saved up for his child. I refused. But he didn't listen. Next day we married in the court and by the end of the month we got the money. And we've been living together since then. But we are not involved. And now, we are here" she said with tears in her eyes remembering every important moment of the life.

"I'm sorry that you had to go through so much, Kate" Martha said taking her hand and squeezing it.

"Not your fault, Martha. It's mine" she confessed.

"I wish you had called me, Kate" Rick said.

"I don't wanted you to see me like that, Rick" she said.

"So, what now?" Martha asked.

"I honestly don't know" said Kate.

"Let's just make sure everyone is on the same page. I mean everyone" Rick said and Martha nodded in agreement.

"Rob is giving me divorce" Kate said hesitantly.

"What? Why?" Rick asked.

"He wants me to have a second chance with you. He wants Alex to meet his real father" she spoke.

"That's gonna ruin his life" said Martha.

"He never listens to anyone" said Kate.

"Alright, we'll talk about this later with Rob. But now, I wanna make this clear to Alexis, Jason, Lanie and guys. And Kate I want you to talk to your Dad" Rick said.

"I can't. He hates me" Kate said sadly.

"Kate, like I said before on one hates you. They are just angry with you" Rick said touching her hand.

Kate gave weary smile in response.

"It's late I should leave. I have an appointment with Dr. Burke in an hour" Kate said.

"You are going to therapy?" Rick asked surprised.

"I don't wanna do the same mistakes I did a long time ago" she replied.

"I'll go and get Alex" said Martha.

As soon as Martha disappeared, Kate pulled Rick into hug.

"I know you have a lot of questions, Rick. I'll answer them. Just give me sometime" she said.

"Take all the time you need, Kate" he said.

They pulled apart and smiled at each other.

Martha got Alex. They said their byes and left.

Now, all Rick could think was how he can tell all of them about this stuff when they are not ready to listen to him.

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><p><strong>Love it? Hate it?<strong>

**Please do review it..**

**Love it when someone reviews this.**

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	7. Chapter 7

**Hey there people.. Sorry for such a late update.. Have been a little messed up and wanted clear my mind.. I know it's short.. Will update it soon.. Promise! :)  
><strong>

**Go on and read… And please forgive me for any mistakes.. Have written in a very short time..**

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><p>As soon as Kate left, Martha sighed. She didn't want her son to go through it again. It was difficult for her to see him so dull and exhausted.<p>

Rick offered a glass of wine to Martha and sat next to her.

"I'm so sorry, Richard. I didn't even think this could be the reason you asked me to Kate" she said apologetically.

"Mother, it's alright. No one could have imagined it" he said.

"Are going to tell Alexis?" she asked.

"I have to. I promised her that I'll tell her everything" he sighed.

"I'm scared how she'll react" he confessed.

"Richard, I don't know what to tell. I, myself am confused" she said.

"I hope she listens to what I have to say" he sighed.

"I don't wanna leave you alone but I have a class at the studio" she said and hugged her son.

"Go Mother. I'll be fine" he reassured her.

Richard escorted his Mother till the door and kissed her on her cheeks.

He took a deep breath and walked into his bedroom.

He held up a photo of Beckett and him in the precinct which Javi had taken. It was when Kate had offered a cup of coffee to Rick. He treasured such moments with her. All he could think was telling everyone why he trusts Kate again.

Alexis, Jason and kids came home to find Rick asleep on couch with a bottle of wine in front of him.

"Jason, can you take them up? I'll wake him up" she whispered.

"Yes sweetheart. Just take care of him" he said as he kissed her forehead.

As soon as Jason and kids disappeared the stairs, Alexis walked up to her father and kissed his forehead.

Rick was woken by this.

"When did you come back pumpkin?" he asked.

"Just now Dad" she said.

She sat next to him and Rick put an arm around her. She hugged him tightly.

"Are you ok, Dad?" Alexis asked.

"I'm okay, pumpkin" he replied.

"So, had Kate come?" she asked slowly.

"Yes" he replied.

"I can see you're struggling to talk to me, Dad. You can always tell me anything right?" she said firmly.

"I know pumpkin. But I don't know how will you react" he sighed.

"Dad, I can handle. And why are the old albums out?" she asked.

"I wanted to show how I looked in my childhood" he whispered.

"Ok.. But why?" she questioned.

"Because Alexander just looks the same" he said softly.

Alexis was stunned and shocked at her father's words. Her mind was racing with hundred different thoughts.

What? How can that be?

If he looks like Dad, Kate and Dad must have met in between?

How came Dad doesn't remember?

Why didn't Kate tell us?

Is this why Dad wanted her to meet Gram?

So, I have a brother now?

Her trail of thoughts were stopped when she heard her Dad speak.

"Pumpkin, I know this is all sudden. But, I need to know what you're thinking" he said.

"I don't understand.. How?" she asked.

"You remember the time when I went to Canada in search of her?" he asked and Alexis nodded yes and let him continue.

"I started searching for her. But I didn't find her. After a while I got disappointed and started drinking. I didn't stop drinking that night. I was way beyond the limits. And I so drunk that I was not able to stand. Then somehow Kate got to my hotel and we ended up making love. I woke to an empty bed and thought it was either dream or I slept with someone else. After that I broke down. But after I saw Kate and Alex in the park, I was sure it was not my dream. That's why I asked Mother to meet Kate" he explained.

"But why didn't she tell us Dad? How can she hide such a big thing?" Alexis asked.

"I know she was wrong hiding this from us. But that part of the story I want her to explain to you. You too are a mother. You'll understand it" he said.

"Okay Dad. I'll meet her and talk to her. Eventually I'll forgive her, you and I, both know that. But I need time" she said to his surprise.

"Take all the time you want, Pumpkin. She's not going anywhere" she assured her.

"I love you, Dad" she said hugging him.

"I love you too, pumpkin" he replied hugging her and kissing her.

"I'm gonna go and check on the girls and Jason and you better get to bed too Dad. You're starting to look old" she teased him.

"Hey! That was mean" he said glaring at her. But he was relieved that she was teasing him to lighten the mood.

Kate reached home with Alex. Kate asked Alex to take a nap and she collapsed on the couch.

It had been a long day for her. Emotions were high. Explanations seemed never ending on her part. And she knew everyone had the right to know why she left. Before her mind could think about anything else, sleep over took her body.

In the other part of the city, Javier Esposito was outta on a run to clear his mind. He always looked at Kate Beckett as his best friend, sister and a constant thing in his life. He felt betrayed when she left NYC without any contact with them. He looked for her everywhere he thought she could go. And even after Rick broke down and gave up on her, he searched for her. He gave up after a year. He felt frustrated and angry. He couldn't believe his best friend left. Not only him but a guy who loved her unconditionally.

He never understood why Rick trusted her so much even after she left. He felt like yelling on Castle for his stupidness. But somewhere in his heart he knew he'd do the same too. He'd forgive her if he saw her face. But first he needed to see her, know that she is safe.

He decided to call Rick and ask her for her number. He took out his phone and dialed Rick's number.

"Hello?" a sweet voice came across the phone.

He smiled at the voice instantly.

"Hello, my sweet girl.. How are you?" he asked.

"Uncle Javi, I'm fine.. How are you? You wanna speak to Daddy?" Jo asked enthusiastically .

"I'm good sweetie pie. Yes, I'd like talk to your Daddy" he replied.

"Hold on then" she said.

Then Javi heard her yelling on top of her voice "Daddy". Javi giggled knowing that Rick would run to her in an instant.

"What happened, Jo?" Rick asked worriedly.

"Nothing Daddy.. Uncle Javi is on phone" she said sweetly.

"Alright you little girl, go and have your juice and next time don't yell like that, I had a heart attack" he warned her.

"Hey, Javi" Rick said.

"Hey, Castle" Javi replied.

"What's up, Javi?" he asked.

"Rick, um.. uh.. Nothing" he muttered.

"Javi, it's not nothing.. please tell me what is it?" Rick asked worried.

"I need to talk to Kate" he said softly.

"I'll text you her number" Rick said immediately.

"Thanks" Javi muttered again.

"Go soft on her, Javi" Rick said in a pleading voice.

"I will" he promised.

"Bye, Javi" Castle said.

"Bye, Castle" he said and ended the call.

Not less than a minute, Javi got Kate's number.

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><p><strong>Love it? Hate it? <strong>

**Do review… Would love to hear your ideas!**

**Love,**

**Varsha!**


	8. Chapter 8

**I'm back.. Really sorry of the wait.. Had a writer's block and then with college, I keep forgetting things. About to finish my exams on 6th.. You'll get more frequent updates. Now, go on, read.. :)**

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><p>As soon as he got the number, he called Her.<p>

"Hello" her voice came from the other end.

There was no reply. She spoke again.

"Hello. Who's there?" she said.

"Becks" he blurted out.

"Javi" Kate whispered.

"Why Kate?" he asked sternly.

"Because I was scared" she answered.

"Who is not scared, Kate? Hell, even I'm scared at times, doesn't mean you push everyone away and run as far as possible" he said angrily.

"I'm sorry. I really am" she pleaded.

"Rick said you are married" Javi said.

"Yes. But it's not what it looks like. It's way more complicated than ever" she sighed.

"Isn't it always?" he spoke harshly.

"I know you all hate me. And I deserve it" she said emotionally.

"I can never hate you, Becks. I'm angry at you. You were the only constant person who I could call as family before Kevin, Lanie and Rick came into my life. You disappeared. Just like that. No contact. Nothing. How do you think I felt? Rick broke down, Lanie cried for hours, Kevin was pissed and hell, even Gates was sad, like actually sad. I stayed strong in front of them, Kate. But you know me, I cry silently. Didn't let them know what I was feeling. But it made me weak. I had to go to therapy to get myself in control" he said in a breath.

Kate was shocked. She never knew that her leaving would cause so much pain to Javi. She knew she was like a sister to him. But had no idea how much she meant to him. She was pulled out of her thoughts by Javi's voice

"Hello? You there?" he asked.

"I..I'm so sorry Javi. I hurt you" she sobbed.

"Kate, please don't cry. You know, I can't see you cry" he pleaded to her.

"I've hurt you for last 10 years. How can I be such a selfish person?" she told sobbing and cut the call.

"Kate" he yelled but the line was cut.

He dialed another number.

"Yo, man. Need a favor" he said.

"Sure bro. Wassup?" came the voice from other side.

"I'll give you a number. Trace it and give me the exact location in 5 minutes. It's an emergency" he said.

"Text me the number, I'll do it now" was the reply.

"Thanks man" Javi said and cut the call.

In a second, he texted the number to him.

Within 5 minutes he got Kate's address. He jumped into his car and drove it to her place.

In the other side of the town Martha and Alexis were meeting in Remy's.

"Hello kiddo" Martha called out.

"Hey Grams" Lex said.

"How are holding up Lex?" she asked.

"Honestly I don't know what I'm feeling Grams" she replied.

"That's normal given the circumstance" Martha sighed. She hated seeing her son and granddaughter in this condition.

"I just don't understand. Why not tell us before? Why now? Why when everything was getting a little better" Alexis asked confused at this whole situation.

"It's always been faith's play in both of their lives. You and I can't decide on it" Martha replied.

"Grams, I'm scared of what's going to happen next" she said worriedly.

"I know sweetie. I am too. I'm scared where Richard's going to break again" she told.

"Jo has been asking me who Kate is Grams. I've just told her she's Dad's old friend" Alexis said looking out of the window.

"That poor child. How can she even begin to understand what this is?" Martha replied heavily.

"She's so protective of Dad, Grams. She has yelled and thrown a fit at Paula a lot of times because she was arguing with him. She's like his protector. After whatever happened, she was the one who brought him back. I'm scared what happens when she realizes it's because of Kate, Dad is or was like this?" Alexis said in worried tone.

"I know, Lexi. But what can we do? Richard needs her as much as she needs him" Martha replied.

"Do you have her number?" Alexis asked without looking at her Grams.

"Yes. Are you sure you want to talk to her? Take a more time and wrap your mind around this" Martha said patting her hand.

"How much ever time I take, the truth will always be the truth, Grams. I need to see her." Alexis looked up with tears threating her eyes.

"Oh, sweetie" Martha said getting up and pulling her granddaughter into a hug.

Javi reached Kate's place in 20 minutes. He drove like a mad man. He needed to see her. He knocked the door and it felt like ages for him until the door was open.

"Can I help you" a kid asked. This must be Kate's son he thought.

"Hi.. Is Kate here?" Javi replied.

"Yes, come on in" said Rob from the couch in hall.

"Alex, go call your Mom" he said.

Alex ran into his mother's room to call her.

"Hi.. I'm Robert. And you are?" he asked as Javi sat next to him on the couch.

"I'm Javier. An old friend of Kate's" he replied.

"Ah. This where she got Alex's middle name from. Nice to put a face to the name" Rob said smilingly.

Javi was shocked to hear this.

"Rob, who is it?" Kate called out walking out of the room.

She was beyond shocked to see Javi here. He had changed. He looked closed off. And she knew this was her fault. This all had happened to them, after she left.

"Javi, what are you doing here?" she asked him hesitantly walking into the hall.

"I needed to talk to you" he said. She looked like she had been crying a long time. She had lost a little weight. They stared at each other lost in their own thoughts when Alex called his Mom.

"You guys talk, I'll see Alex" he tells Kate.

"Rob, will you take him out?" she asked him. All she got was a nod in answer.

Javi and Kate sat in silence till Rob and Alex left.

Kate was the one to break the silence

"I'm so so sorry, Javi" she said. Unknowingly a tear slide down her cheeks.

"I don't understand, Kate. Why? Why did you leave? What are you here now? I don't get it. I just don't" he said getting up from the couch.

"I had to, Javi. I was broken and I would have broken Rick too, if I had stayed" she replied.

"Is he any less broken right now?" he asked as walked towards the wall and leaning against it.

She wanted to tell him about everything. Everything, that's been in her heart for 10 years, every hurt that she caused them, she felt it too.

"What I am about to say will probably will make you hate me" she whispered.

"Try me. Because I have tried in every possible way to hate you. But I am here today, aren't I?" he replied.

"Alex is Rick's son" she said in such a low voice that it was almost inaudible.

Javi was beyond shocked. He felt like an arrow pierced him, that too directly to his heart. He lost the ability to think and speak.

"Javi, please say something" she begged.

"I don't know what to say, Kate. How could you do this to him?" he said a little a louder and frustrated. He always thought Kate was running from something, but Alex being Rick's son was not something she should have hid from everyone, especially Rick. Is this why he wanted to meet her? He let out a sigh.

"I just wanted him to be happy. I was broken and I knew I would have broken him too. I know, this is not a valid reason but it's what I felt at that point of time." She said as tears were streaming down her face.

"Is he any less broken?" he asked sarcastically.

"Javi, I know you are angry with me but I did what I felt was right" she tried to explain.

"I'm tired of hearing that, Kate. Everything is not about you. Just because you left everyone's life turned upside down. Ryan almost got shot on duty once, because he was thinking about how to find you. This is just one such instance, Kate. I'm not saying this to make you feel guilty. But just understand, everyone life gets affected with a single decision you took in past or you take in future. I have always told you Rick doesn't just love you, you are his everything. After you left everything changed. He became quite, he doesn't make jokes like before. All I'm asking you is to think before you take a decision, Kate. We love you, but we do need you to love us back" he said as a tear rolled down his cheeks.

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><p><strong>Please do review.. It <strong>**does**** help me write fast. Next chapter Alexis and Kate's reunion.. Let me know if you have any ideas..  
><strong>

**Love,**

**Varsha..**


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